China Hack: Mystery Meat Recipe


Part of China’s charm is the mystery behind the culture. Where am I? Why is that person doing that? What am I eating? To be honest, I don’t have an answer for any of the previous questions BUT I have created my own recipe that cooks well with any of the various mystery meats you could possibly stumble upon. Even dog.

[Authors Note: Dog is more of a southern delicacy and it’s only specific breeds that are harvested for meat… sometimes. Everyone just needs to relax]


1 Slab of mystery meat
– cut off the fat and dice into decent size cubes or strips

1 Can of Mystery Sauce

1 Tomato

1 Head of Leafy Greens
– go for something that looks like kale or spinach


Step 1: Marinate the mystery meat in a mystery sauce! Just pop into your local 7/11 and grab a canned sauce that looks like something you would like to eat. If you like spicy, go for something red. If you are more mellow, any brown sauce will do. Everything is in Chinese characters ssoooo it’s ANOTHER fun guessing game. Marinate the meat for 1-3 hours.

Step 2: Dice a 1 tomato. Add some oil in a pan over low heat. Let the tomatoes boil down for 15 minutes.

Step 3: Add any leafy greens you can get your hands on. There’s no recognizable spinach or kale in my local veg marts so I just grab anything that’s dark green and looks fresh. I tear off the leafy parts with my hands (get rid of the stem) and toss it into my tomato stew. Let it cook down until the greens are soft and crumpled. Think cooked spinach.

Step 4: Toss the mystery meat into the mystery stew WITH the sauce that you marinated it in. The juices will absorb into the meat and the leafy greens with snag onto the meat as well.


See. China isn’t that hard. MysteryMeatFEATURE


2 thoughts on “China Hack: Mystery Meat Recipe

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