20 Resolutions For 2014

2013 was a tough year.  There were ups and downs, laughs and sobs, awesome adventures and deep regrets.  For that reason, I always like to write down my “resolutions” to remind myself of the goal… and laugh later when I fall short every once in a while. I feel like many of these resolutions can easily apply to other 20-something “wanderers” so I hope my list brings comfort to people who feel overwhelmed with what they “could have done better” in 2013… because life is a journey. Not a competition. Please enjoy my “self discovery.”

20 Resolutions For 2014

1- Stop telling yourself that you’re going to die alone… out loud… everyday.

2-Be more independent when solving your problems. You have 3G and Pleco now.  Not speaking Chinese is no longer an excuse for everything.

3-Cuddle with Harold more.

4- Spank yourself at least once a day.  Your ass was built by blood, sweat, and ripped calluses.  Recognize your achievements.

5-Be more comfortable with women hating you for no reason. Le sigh.

  • 5.1-… And stop trying so hard to be their friend. You’re not fooling anyone. Be excited that you’re crushing it so hard that you have haters. (THUG LYFE!)
  • 5.2-No really. They’re never going to like you. Seriously, just give up.

6-Never skip a morning workout unless you’re throwing up, having an asthma attack, or cuddling with an incredibly respectable man.

7-Wear your pollution mask more.

8-Pay is forward. Help everyone you can, whenever you are able.

9-Make a legit budget you damn fool!

10-Have at least 2 different types of VISA options at all times.

11-Continue to write and have confidence in your voice.  People are listening.

12-Make breakfast for all overnight guests.  You weren’t raised in a barn.

13-Hug everyone you part ways with.

  • 13.1-Eh, eff it. Hug everyone who will let you touch them.

14-Read those articles your mom keeps sending you.  She cares about you enough to send them.

  • 14.1-You should probably skype with her more too.
  • 14.2-Some more texting wouldn’t hurt either. The woman brought you into the world damn it, she deserves attention.

15-Stop freaking out about money all the time.  All of your bills are/will be paid.  Be grateful for everything you’ve already been blessed with.

16-Only surround yourself with people who can handle the spectrum of emotions that is “Vanessa.”  If people can’t handle you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best OR YOUR AMAZING DESSERTS.

17-Kiss more.

18-Continue to spread the teachings of CrossFit and paleo around the world.

19-Have some effing standards.

  • 19.1-Date busy men. You are not responsible for their happiness
  • 19.2-Stop dating men with “Daddy Issues.”
  • 19.3-… or guys named “Alex.”
  • 19.4-… or Colombians.
  • 19.5-… or guys who don’t workout. Seriously, you spend most of your time at the box/studio, hanging out with your friends from CrossFit/Yoga, or planning what you’re going to do at CrossFit/Yoga. It. Just. Won’t. Work.

20-Continue to develop yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally.

We (Harold and I) at wanderonwards.com would like to wish everyone a happy and safe holiday this winter! May your debts be settled and glasses be overflowing with champaign to justify whatever poor decision making you wish to engage in.  Cheers.



47 thoughts on “20 Resolutions For 2014

  1. Thank you for blogs like these! I was starting to think I was the only one who thought like this! You represent us twenty-somethings very well!

  2. I’m assuming number 1 was why you wrote the “23 things..” post. Just because you are alone now doesn’t mean you will be forever- but it also doesn’t give you the right to bash people who aren’t alone. Some of us have travelled, and made mistakes, loved, and lost, did most of the things on your list, and still ended up engaged before 23. You can’t just generalize everyone into one category when you don’t know our stories. I’m also not uneducated because I’m engaged young, I’ve travelled, and gone to school, and learned life lessons, had adventures, and experienced life- and will continue to do so with my fiance and our son. It’s really disappointing to read it coming from someone who claims to be educated and experienced- apparently life experience didn’t teach you anything about discrimination and not being judgemental.

    • Agreed! It’s just as easy to say that everyone who ISN’T in a serious relationship by the time they’re 23 is a selfish, unsavory personality only interested in partying, but we know that’s no more true than saying that everyone who IS has no experience and is only hiding behind marriage. Everyone has their own unique story and background, and the “23 things…” post absolutely disregards that truth in favor of pandering to those who are single and asserting that they are “f***ing awesome.” What an absolutely moving way to get a point across.

      • Agreed JJ. The 23 Things very much is a contradiction.

        As a former Peace Corps volunteer, I have had my share of excitement in life and I haven’t completed everything I want to do. I’m lucky enough to get to finish that list with my husband in a relationship that came out of nowhere. Having a partner hasn’t made “living” any more difficult. You can do much of your list with a partner, even Peace Corps. I know many married couples that grew together. If you think that a relationship holds you back, than you’re right, you’re not ready for one or it’s not the right person.
        Not everyone has your “ambitions” in life, also remember that. You‘re not the one that has to live the life of the “married under 23” on your Facebook unless you wanted to. So take a common lesson from all those religions that you are so well versed in and stop judging and comparing yourself to those people. Seems like a waste of time. Live your bucket list and others will make theirs.
        Also, when you say be selfish; please know that very much contradicts joining Peace Corps and what we do. Maybe you’re better off as a tourist that floats around from country to country being naked in windows. Lucky you have had the opportunity to have someone pay for this. Most do not. Remember this.

    • “Be more comfortable with women hating you for no reason. Le sigh.”

      “But then I realize that those friends are going to get knocked up and fat soon soooo in retrospect, who really is winning here?”

      I would removed “for no reason” from that statement, you sound terrible.

  3. i feel like we know each other! i’m 23 and i think very much like you do. i love your blogs and lists, haters gonn hate. you’re smart enough to ignore them i’m sure 🙂 travel on!

  4. I just found your blog today through a Facebook friend, and I’m obsessed! As a freshman in college, it’s nice to see someone slightly older that’s going through similar things I am, and you’re helping me have some direction. Thanks for everything, and happy 2014!

  5. As an older 20-something who’s experienced quite a bit and then some of your judgmental lists, I find you to be dry, superficial and quite shitty. You have an obsession with physical appearances the awful programming of HBO. Which I’m sure you don’t actually pay for, because why should a Millennial respect artists? You’re too busy sucking off business men in China.

    • I totally agree with the last comment. Honestly though, you need to turn down your superficial attitude. You make it clear in almost every blog that you LOVE yourself and your life. We Get It. Now put some of that love towards others and stop being so judgemental. I am just like you in so many ways but I don’t brag about my nomadic life and put down others for the path they’ve choosen. I am a lurker on most websites I frequent and almost never comment or make posts but for you I made an exception. I’m also a frequent traveler and think it’s the most important to do in life especially while you’re young. I also had the pleasure of meeting the love of the life when I went to college at 18. We share that same passion for travel, both don’t believe in marriage, and both don’t want kids. So there you have it, a 25 year old female doing the same thing you’re doing while being able to hold on to a relationship for 7 years. Maybe the reason you bash others way of life is because you’re unhappy with your own, which seems unlikely considering all you do is talk about how amazing it is. Maybe you’re lonely and these blogs are just a way of covering that up. Only you’ll know for sure but you’re definitely missing something. One of your new years resolution should be to learn to be respectful and kind towards others and the choices they make. If people want to get married and divorced all before the age of 25, then let them and stop caring so much. You’re an attractive young woman traveling the world! Enjoy it and stop worrying about the choices people are making. Although I agree with your way of life, I don’t agree with your attitude. One last thing, just because a guy doesn’t work out and you do, shouldn’t mean a relationship won’t work. You’ll be alone forever if you expect to find someone JUST like yourself. Stop obsessing about physical appearance because that’s the least of your worries. I hope 2014 will bring you a new outlook on life and you’ll learn to be more understanding and less superficial.

      Oh, and it’s champagne not champaign.

      • “You’ll be alone forever if you expect to find someone JUST like yourself?” If you have been reading Vanessa’s blog posts like you claim, you would realize that much of her life revolves around exercise, Crossfit, etc. If working out is a major part of her life, and it makes her feel good, why not try to find someone who enjoys the same things? It’s not like she said she wants to find a man who has the same birthday as her. Her desire to find a companion with a major interest in something that dominates her life is 100% acceptable AND doable.

      • Just found your blog! love it! Lived the whole Chinese dream just like you! But moving on now 🙂 Looking forward to more from you!
        oh and yes you are right, Ronald is a f***tard.

    • You all who say she is bashing others and that she is flaunting her lifestyle, obviously haven’t had enough education to realize she isn’t flaunting anything. She is writing on a blog in which people have the option to read or not, and then she is encouraging people to travel and experience new things. Bashing married people? Have you all not seen the girls coming right out of high school pregnant and married before they are 18? So many people don’t want to work for anything so I fully agree wither saying many people use marriage young as a cop out. She didn’t generalize, you need to learn to read.

    • “As an older 20-something…”
      “You’re too busy sucking off business men in China”

      Your age does not seem to be matching your apparent maturity level, Ronald.
      ~Check yourself before you wreck yourself~

  6. Hahaha i love #13!! I grew up in europe but now i live in the states, i always try to hug everyone who will let me touch them… or will stand still long enough. 🙂
    And i about died reading #19!!! I think we may have dated the same guys haha i have a “no alex” rule too! Actually all of ur rules apply to me. I dated a guy once who only ever played video games and would bitch aboit going on walks or hikes with me. After we broke up i vowed never again. Besides, the active ones have the better bods 😉

  7. #21 Do not listen to “haters” on your blog who leave nasty comments. Anyone who spends time reading your blog and then feels the need to fill the world with “ugly” is ugly. The proof of their life is in their comments. Haters are gonna hate. #Embrace

  8. I’m loving your blog so far! Please don’t let the negativity of some of the people commenting change anything about your blogging style. They obviously aren’t reading you right….

  9. I find it so funny that people come to a blog to critique the mindset of the people who write posts. Especially this one. I understand that some people were set off by the “23 Things To Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23,” but this one? Please, people. You are reading the personal work of an individual. She gives advice, but need you take it?! NO. Stop trying to start a War on Wanderonwards, you could be fighting against more detrimental people and things.

    And chances are, she’s not going to take your advice on changing her “attitude” because she is successful and many others agree with her way of thinking! MANY.

    • Its called open criticism. Comments section does not mean “positive feedback ONLY” Its for whatever people want to say about a piece.

      Just like there is no harm in her writing her opinion on a blog, there is no harm is writing an honest opinion about a blog, whether it be negative or positive.

      I just personally hate it when people say “why are you commenting/watching/reading/on this site if you don’t like it? Just go away and keep your opinions to yourself” .. I find that this author would very much disagree with you if she is true to her words.

  10. Mot of everything you say is spot on. I say “most” because everyone can’t agree on everything, ya know? These resolutions are great no matter WHERE you live. Harold is adorable, by the way!! We all need to cuddle with our pets more. You do an amazing job representing the “wanderer” I hope to be after college. Thank you so much for your blog. It’s an inspiration.

  11. I find your blog posts quite humorous and well, it’s too bad not everyone gets it. The part about being ok with other girls not “liking you” was VERY funny. Yeah, you’re gonna have haters, so what, ef em! lol

  12. wow! i love travelling too,but being from India ,I am mostly not allowed,at half the places arghh 😐
    I am in love with your blog.like seriously.you are too cool 😀 😀

  13. People who argue and take things personally on these blogs are so stupid, no one is attacking you (besides me) this blog is not about you, don’t flatter yourselves. Obviously the blog isn’t for you so move along, are you going to write a letter to movie directors if you feel like they are making fun of you in their movies? Shut up and quit taking life so seriously, Vanessa should dedicate a blog to all of you cry babies…

  14. 1. I’m not really a Queen. I picked that as a blogging name a few years ago and I’m too lazy to change it.
    2. I think what you’re doing is awesome.
    3. I don’t have my shit together, I up-and-move regularly, I’m still single, and I’m 27. So, you’re, like, a baby. No worries. The worst thing you can do is waste time on a guy who doesn’t appreciate you.
    4. Happy New Year 🙂

  15. Good list… for number
    19.6 Date a man you cannot keep your hands off of (if you end up marrying him one day you want to feel like this)
    19.7 Date as many guys as possible ! You never know who you will end up really connecting with even if he is not your type or has any of your “no” qualities
    19.8 Don’t ever settle… EVERR

    I just stumbled upon your blog. Very cool! 🙂

  16. I mean, four years of college just wasn’t enough time to find my awesome thing. Gee, all guys suck and that last one really did a number on me. I could have been posting on Facebook my perfect life by now if it weren’t for that guy. I’m really bitter that I didn’t end up with my Mrs. Degree…. Cause what would I do with this four year degree anyways? Work, no! haha, that’s silly. I mean, not all of us come out with student loans after college and need to find a job. Instead, I’m heading to China to put together a list of things that are superficial and have no depth that could have all been done in college, when being a slut and dating two people at once is more accepted. Nope, I’m extending my college days to China and going to find that window to pose naked in once and for all. All those superficial, my-life-is-perfect “friends” of mine on Facebook are going to be way jealous of MY adventures. Don’t I look to happy in all the China pictures I post on Facebook guys? I’m mean really, who wouldn’t want to bake a cake with me!! #YOLO#YOMO#disappointmyparents#GIRLS#fakecunttryingtobeworldly

    • “All those superficial, my-life-is-perfect “friends” of mine on Facebook are going to be way jealous of MY adventures.”

  17. Wow! While I was reading, I felt like you had read my thought’s! Word for word! Well, except for the part about the gym. I cut words such as workout and tone out of my vocab a long time ago! LoL It’s like I have met my slightly younger ;-D healthier toned twin!

  18. I love how some people can slate vanessa for documenting HER view and HER experiences, where there’s praise due then hell praise all you want, I am the same age as her and lived the nomadic life it’s an incredible experience that has taught me so much in such a short time that now at the age of 23 I run a multi million dollar agricultural enterprise and it’s the experience of having to fend for yourself in a foreign land that will get you so much further than a spion fed child!

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