“I’m A Little Traveler:” Hosting A Game Show At School

EnglishTeachers

“I’m A Little Traveler:” The Knowledge Of The UK Competition

I love me some cultural exchange. That’s why I jumped at the opportunity to be a part of my school’s international “game show.” It’s critical that kids understand early on that there is a whole world out there. It needs to be wandered and appreciated-not conquered or invaded.

At my school, the English teachers planned out a game show called: “I’m A Little Traveler: The Knowledge Competition of the UK.” We had real microphones (I felt like Beyonce), bells, a score board, and cameras EVERY WHERE. ALL of the parents took pictures on the biggest DSL cameras they could find this side of the Atlantic Ocean… WHILE they recorded it on their phones for QQ (Chinese equivalent of Facebook). It was pretty damn cute if you ask me. Good thing I did my hair.

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The kids crushed it, the parents thought my English was insanely funny-silly foreigner-and all of the teachers were able to showcase how well their kids were learning English and history. This gave me extra brownie points with our leader (Chinese equivalent of a “boss”) and I was able to take some time off of work-just because.

We, in any-where-but-China, forget is that many major Chinese cities are contracted (by-law) to only have one child per family. For that reason, Chinese parents have ONE SHOT to get it right. If you mess it up, then you and your family becomes the laughing stock of the community.

But, no pressure… SAID NO ONE IN CHINA EVER.

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That kind of pressure is INSANE to process (to me) because for the last several years, my parents have been allowing me to gallivant around the world-unsupervised-trusting me to make smart life and career decisions. They have 3 other kids that can “make it” if I become a radical liberal hippy (which I already am) and disappear into the jungles of Asia.

Which reminds me… I need to get my rabies shots before I do that.

Please enjoy these festive photos of me (and friends) hosting the game show.

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Lost In Translation: Chinese Signs

So I’ve been practicing my Mandarin… and it’s not going well. But that’s OKAY because there are people struggling with their English too! I can already tell that my conversations are going to be RIVETING…

“I like red. What’s your favorite color?”
我喜欢红色。你最喜欢什么颜色?
Wǒ xǐhuan hóngsè. Nǐ zuì xǐhuan shénme yánsè?

NOTE: I also stole this article, but you can’t read buzzfeed.com in China without a VPN soooo I transpired it to my page! Credit goes to author, Natalie Morin. I salute you!… but I can’t include you because the hyperlink isn’t up to regulation. Sorry girl.
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1. In case of emergency…
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What they meant to say: Fire extinguisher.

2. You know, one of those time sex things…
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What they meant to say: Disposable items.

3. Freshly caught, I hope!
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What they meant to say: Carp from mainland China.

4. Can I get a fucking heart exam, too?
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What they meant to say: Vaginal Examination Room.

5. Thanks for offering.
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What they meant to say: Please do not touch. We’ll help you try it on.

6. Lonely Planet said it was a must-see.
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offbeatchina.com
What they meant to say: Ethnic minority park.

7. Hey, you might as well be graceful about it.
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What they meant to say: Be careful not to slip and fall.

8. Ah, maybe we should wait til they’re done.
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What they meant to say: Construction in progress.

9. Maybe it’s reverse psychology?
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blog.sina.com.cn / Via chinawhisper.com
What they meant to say: Don’t drink and drive.

10. Right?!?!
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What they meant to say: Dried goods.

11. Shh!
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What they meant to say: Do not step on the living grass.

12. Hey, no funny business.
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What they meant to say: Important engine room.

13. I heard it’s protected by UNESCO.
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What they meant to say: Garden with a curved pool.

14. We need to start unrecycling more often.
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What they meant to say: Non-recyclables.

15. But besides that, you’re great!
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What they meant to say: The grass is living, please do not step on it.

16. Definitely the best flavor.
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What they meant to say: Exotic flavor.

17. Oh, stop it…
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What they meant to say: Please kindly save water. Please kindly pee in the toilet bowl. Please kindly flush. Please kindly protect public property.

18. It’s really popular with X-Men.
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What they meant to say: Coconut jelly candy.

19. Edison was so wise.
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What they meant to say: Nothing that has value in the world can be had without effort.

20. And it’s on sale!
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What they meant to say: Korean, seasoned seaweed.

21. Maybe the oven was broken?
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What they meant to say: Fried duck.

22. Cheap, fast & easy.
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What they meant to say: ….Who knows.

Books: A Wanderer’s Best Friend

As a Mexican learning Mandarin and living in China… I’ve needed to take a few extra precautions to insure that I have the resources and capabilities necessary to feed myself on a regular basis. BEHOLD! My travel hacks to making it in Beijing!

Lonely Planet’s Mandarin: Phrasebook & Dictionary

Knopf Map Guides: Beijing.
— The City In Section-By-Section Maps

These are the most comprehensive books I’ve found/read so far that really lets you dive fearlessly into the culture and wander honestly.

The Lonely Planet’s Mandarin book is by far the most useful piece of literature I’ve ever purchase because it covers all of the real world phrases/words that you’ll need to use in case of emergencies or munchies. It goes beyond “hello” (ni hao), “goodbye” (Zaijian), and “You look like some cousin of mine” (Ni zhangde xiang wode biaomei!)… and that’s only in the Romance section!

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Notice the little marks above the English letters and below the Chinese characters? That’s called Pinyin. For someone who’s unfamiliar with Pinyin, it’s the phonetic system for transcribing the sound of Chinese characters into Latin script. Your tone is suppose to reflect the movement of the little ticks above the letters and that’s how you distinguish each word. After taking a very brief Chinese crash course in Boston, I can assure you that I still have no idea what I’m doing.

But it’s fine. Everything is going to be fine.

The best part of LP’s book is the usefulness of the phrases provided. They have everything covered from travel, food, medicine, market conversation, and (as you can see) useful phrases to spark up a spicy Chinese love affair with a local! Wo ai ni baby 😉

I was particularly impressed with their medical section; more specifically, their emergency section. Anything that could go wrong is covered-including emergency contraception. For those less traveled, this is incredibly progressive considering some southern states still don’t sell condoms in certain cities. The liberal nature of this book and healthcare options in China is continuing to impress me as a 21st century CRAZY LIBERAL HIPPY (aka democrat) and I haven’t even touched down in the city yet!

The Knopf Map Guides of Beijing is also incredibly useful because it provides a small and comprehensive map for English speakers to venture into the various districts of Beijing without fear. There are even suggestions on the bottom regarding popular pit stops! I plan to use this book as a starting point for my wandering habits and eventually, I’ll be pasting my own (and original) “expansion pack” of notes in the book itself. Once I’ve visited every establishment listed (because I will), I plan to donate my upgraded version to a younger wanderer just starting out in the big crazy city.

Because sharing is caring and caring is wonderful.

Check it out:

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