8 Reasons CrossFitters Are The Best Kind Of Professionals

Tomorrow I have a huge interview that could potentially dramatically change my China experience and long-term career plans for the better. I recognize that I’ve already put in all of the man-hours possible. There is literally, nothing more I can possibly do; I’ve already created several flow charts to prove it to myself. I just need to be myself and I know I’ll nail it.

That doesn’t mean I probably won’t cry later tonight haha.

So after much meditation with my Tibetan Buddhist prayer beads (that are made out of human bones), I’ve come to realize that CrossFitters’ are the ideal employee… and here’s why:

1. We’re not afraid to put in the hours.

When I was a senior in college, I would excuse myself from “Wasted Wednesday” early (and sober) so I could wake up at 6am to make it to the 8am WOD… all the way in downtown Boston. My hour commute to-and-from the box was no joke and now that I’m working full time, my 6am wake up call seem like a normal part of my daily routine. CrossFitters won’t hesitate to wake up at the crack of dawn or sacrifice a few hours from the sacred “8-hours of sleep regiment” because we know that time is money, and your snatch and career aren’t going to grow without some elbow grease… and protein. Everyone loves protein.

(9am crew at Team CrossFit Academy Monrovia)

2. We always get back up.

I’ve had lashing marks on my ass, blood gushing from my knees, and muscle soreness for weeks all because I refuse to believe that my body and mind can’t be pushed just a little bit more. When I first attempted FRAN, I didn’t finish; even when I scaled the weight AND did ring dips instead of assisted pull-ups. After almost two years of CrossFit, I am proud to announce that my FRAN stands at 8:30 RX. So when I’m handed a difficult project at work, I start the timer and get into the zone immediately. Because if I can MURPH, FRAN, and complete the 50 Filthy RX, then ain’t no thing that I can’t do. Child, please.

If I pass out, please note my time and save my spreadsheet.

(Post Filthy 50… I am obviously not amused. Or wearing a shirt lol)

3. We have great social skills.

We’re social when it’s appropriate, but focused when we need to be. Ever talk to a serious CrossFitter during the 10-second countdown? Me neither. I’m too damn focused on how I’m going to spread out the reps within the allotted time. I will not be the last one to finish and I’ll be damned if I let ANY of the boys beat my time. But once our times have been recorded in WODIFY, we’ll all go shower up and grab some burgers and beer immediately afterwards. Because there is a time and a place to be serious… and there’s a time and a place to be covered in chalk while yelling obscenities about someone else’s mother.

(Boston College Crew at Reebok CrossFit Backbay)

4. We always have a positive attitude.

There’s something truly magical about hitting a new PR. You can always tell when a CrossFitter has hit a major benchmark in their regiment because their eyes sparkle throughout the day as they struggle to walk up a basic flight of stairs… due to a rapid increase of lactic acid in their muscles, obviously. When we’re successful in the box, we suddenly become the office cheerleader because we know that anyone is capable of anything; they just need the proper coaching and support.

(Middle Kingdom Fitness in Beijing, China. We’re a small, but proud box)

5. We navigate all sorts of social circles seamlessly.

In Boston, my noon class was filled with a bunch of jacked bros from the financial district who would warm up with my body weight. I was normally the only girl in the class and I was also dramatically younger than most of them too. (They hate when I say that.) But that didn’t impact the chemistry of the noon class. I never felt intimidated, belittled, or patronized because I was a young female literally competing in a man’s world. I would lift with people who were from a spectrum of social spheres, socio-economic backgrounds, and cultures. And no matter whom I was WODing next to, I understood that we had a responsibility to one another to finish the WOD and encourage the other to move even faster the next time.

(Reebok CrossFit Backbay crew at the 2013 CrossFit Games)

6. We take failure and criticism well.

CrossFit tells you “no” over and over and over again. I’ve fallen from the gymnastic rings, hit myself in the face during a snatch, whipped myself mercilessly during doubleunders (I was into it), and hurt myself in a variety other ways trying to perform various gymnastic moves or put an absurd amount of weight above my head. Despite my past failures, I continue to show up at the box day after day to try again. When competing against the best of the best in the workforce, you’re not going to be the elite everyday; and you need to accept that. You need to learn from that. My form isn’t perfect and my core is crap, but tomorrow it will be better. Not perfect, but better.

(When life knocks you down… do a burpee)

7. We work well in teams.

When I competed in my first throw down, I was paired with someone significantly stronger than me. Honestly, I was nervous that I was going to hold him back from all the fame and glory that comes in a CrossFit competition, but in reality, we balanced each other out perfectly. He beasted through the cleans, while I furiously raced through the burpee box jumps. We were one point away from qualifying for finals (whoot whoot semis!), but in retrospect, our bodies were seriously destroyed from the 4 WOD’s we completed in one day and my cartilage was quite pleased with the break. During the competition, everyone cheered for everyone. There were no petty rivalries or shit-talking because we all understood the type of mental and physical strength it takes to push your body to very limit. Everyone understood that if you had the balls (or lady balls) to step out onto the floor and compete, then you were already a winner. Period. No exceptions.

(Reebok CrossFit Backbay at the Northeast Regionals supporting our TWO teams… NBD)

8. We are patient with others and ourselves.

“You are enough” is my 2014 mantra because it applies to basically everything. “You are enough” in your relationships, in your career, and in CrossFit. I am constantly trying to support my fellow box members in and out of CrossFit because we are our own worst critics. I’ll be damned if I don’t make it my job to remind you how awesome you are for even stepping out onto the floor to lift. I’ll be the first to admit that CrossFit is intimidating. And for someone to step out of their comfort zone, forfeit a shit ton of money, and actually give this crazy lifestyle a chance… well that deserves a standing ovation. Or at the very least a, “Hey, you’re ass looks great in those shorts.”

(Struggling through a clean in the middle of the throw down. I missed it. Almost a year later, I consider that a warm-up weight now.)

Whelp, those are all my feelings are the moment. Wish me luck, ya’ll.

20 Things That Change After Living In China

I can feel my opinions of what is socially/morally/economically acceptable change as my experience in China continues… Here are the main 20.

1. Hot water is king. It’s cured everything for generations and will continue to do so into the future.

2. There are indoor shoes and outdoor shoes. You’re not a barbarian.

3. It is 100% acceptable to eat an entire meal out of a plastic bag.

4. The party doesn’t REALLY start till 1am.

5. If you’re sick, wear a mask. It’s only the polite thing to do since you’re a walking biohazard.

6. If you need to spit, you probably should… indoors, outdoors, with your in-laws, with your employer, etc etc. The world is fair game.

7. Street signs are optional. Traffic is based on the discrepancy of the traffic flow.

8. Everyone has a price… even doctors.

9. Personal space is a luxury for rich people.

10. Ma, ma, and ma are all different things. Don’t be ignorant.

11. Having your picture taken by/with strangers is a normal ordeal. Your face is probably in the camera roll of at least a dozen Chinese people you’ve never met.

12. “404 Error” is the earthly devil manifestation.

13. “TIC” or “This Is China” is a perfectly acceptable answer to everything.

14. If something can go wrong, it will go wrong, and you need to accept that.

15. “It is impossible…” because people don’t want to do it, not because anything can’t actually be accomplished. (See #8 for suggestions)

16. TaoBao is the online Chinese version of Costco… but better.

17. Confrontation is immature. Instead, you must run around a problem several times, pray it’ll eventually go away, and then eventually hire someone to deal with it so you don’t have to.

18. “mmhmm hao mmhhm hao mhhhm hao de hao de hao de” is a perfectly acceptable phone conversation.

19. A “line” or “queue” is a mythical western manifestation. In China, there is just a point in which you should begin to crowd aggressively.

20. You were once new in China and someone helped you establish yourself. Karma is real. Pay it forward.

Love Actually: Dating in Beijing

PHOTOS BY THE BRILLIANT CLAY LIPSKY

The other day, I asked my Chinese teachers to bless me with the privilege of a Chinese name. After a bit of debate, they came up with “Hua Xin,” which translates into “flower heart.” Seemed innocent enough. I asked them what was the inspiration behind the name choice and they said, “Because you’ve had so many boyfriends.”

What?

The week before, my teachers and I had gotten into a heated debate about dating in China versus the United States. In China, many of my teachers married the first boy they every dated and/or kiss… if that was the case for me, Anthony Bell from Coolidge Elementary (Kindergarten Class of 1996) would be my current beaux, going strong on 17 years. They asked me how many people I’ve ever dated and I gave them an honest answer: I don’t know.

But before we start the slut shaming, you need to take into account all of the first-dates-gone-wrong and brief relationships that I’ve endured in the past 4 years. I didn’t really have a serious boyfriend till Freshman year of college and I haven’t since. Most guys I date don’t make it past the 3 month mark because that’s when the “honey moon” phase is over and the real shit comes out. More often than not, the reason my relationships end is because I pick up and move 3,000 miles away-and not a mile less. Many of those relationships were healthy, functional, and I cherish those memories fondly with no regrets.

China is different; even in the expat community.

The Chinese expat community plays for keeps.

Due to our diminishing numbers, everyone is either leaving with their significant other to another place, desperately trying to salvage something long distance, or waiting… waiting for that “big fish.” Or the “one.” Depends on your perception and/or bitterness towards relationships.

Even as a serial dater, I have met multiple people that I could really see myself settling down with in Hong Kong, Shanghai, Dubai, or where ever else the wind blows me. It’s kind of terrifying. People here are looking for Love, Actually.

That’s because most expats in China are Type-A personalities… or weird and couldn’t hack it in their home country. The Type-A’s are all well traveled, speak multiple languages, and have a plan for their future… and now they’re looking for someone to share all of their experiences and success with. While my life feels like a perpetual mess, I can feel myself gravitating towards the same mentality.

But here’s the crux: Type A’s want to find their “equal.”

Whatever “equal” is defined as is up to the preference of the individual. But because the expat community is so small, anyone that you hook up with or date will ALWAYS be in your life until you leave the continent.

Hong Kong is just too close for comfort.

So when dating in Beijing, it’s important to invest wisely. Because two things are inevitably going to happen:

1. You’ll marry that person
2. You’ll break up with that person and ruin their reputation and yours AND THEN, you both will see each other all the time.

Seems a bit extreme, but in Beijing, we play for keeps. Everyone here has wandered the world looking for someone who just “gets it.” Obviously, if we’re single, we haven’t found that someone back home or during our past travels. Fortunately, nowhere else in the world has a better concentration of more interesting, talented, and decent human beings than Beijing. Which is why everyone holds onto their significant other fiercely if they’re so lucky to find that special someone. Wanderers have seen it all. They have sampled, failed, shattered, and rebuilt relationships in the past so, theoretically, they know what they really want.

However, I say theoretically with great emphasis. There are always exceptions to the rule. Drug addicts. And drifters… who should not be confused with wanderers. Wanderers are social and cunning butterflies, engaged in a perpetual search for nothing in particular. Drifters are just weird.

So now I’m officially COMPLETELY single. I’m not talking to someone on the side, I don’t have a “cuddle buddy” (when has it ever just been a cuddle sesh?), and I’m not casually dating anyone. I am single, not looking to mingle, and I want to get my shit together before I really pursue anything.

Because you can’t take care of someone if you can’t take care of yourself first.

I decided not to remain with the Chinese name of “Hua Xin” because I don’t have to settle. With anything. Or anyone.

Swag.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Ladies… if you’re feeling lonely, move to Beijing. It’s nearly a 3:1 ratio of men to women that it’s not even fair. I’ve gone out with a “wedding band” more than once just to be left alone. This is not a humble brag, it’s a sheer numbers game and it’s in our favor for once.

What’s My Age Again?

Since I left high school, most of my friends have always been older than me. I value the opinion of people who’ve been through it before, and to be honest, my priorities are normally completely different from most of my peers.

But that doesn’t mean my anxieties aren’t the same.

“What is my life going to be like after college ends?”

Most of my older friends have it roughly “figured out” or they’ve started to at least TRY, but I’m still in my early 20’s so I’m 100% sure that I have 0% of things figured out.

But it’s not like I haven’t been trying.

It feels like I’ve been sprinting since the moment my feet touched the ground in China. While most English teachers enjoy the lazy afternoon break that kindergarten provides (normally 3-2 hours), during lunch I’m furiously photoshopping or writing to keep up with my blog and other freelance marketing jobs. On Monday’s and Wednesdays, after school ends at 4, I hike up to Sanlitun to teach Business English to eager Chinese professionals and then I make my way down to Yonganli to lift with my CrossFit family. I’m literally traveling back and forth from opposite sides of Beijing all the time, but for what?

I don’t want to be a teacher. I don’t want to design, forever. But, I do want to stay in China.

So here’s the crux: Do I make a career change? And how?

For most of October, I’ve been trying to figure it out. I scattered my probes along the outer corners of my various networks and made sure everyone knew that I was looking for other opportunities in Beijing. People don’t know you want something unless you ask for it.

Surprisingly, it worked.

Everyone immediately scattered and connected me to anyone and everyone they could find. I followed up on lead after lead and I was actually qualified to do a few of the positions, but here’s the problem: I’m 22.

The new China Visa requirements stipulate that, to be eligible for a Z work Visa, the employee must be 24 and prove that he or she has 2 years of experience in the proper field in order to be deemed “qualified” for the position.

Duck. Ducking mother ducker. This is such a ducking shit rule. (My mom reads my blog).

So ONCE AGAIN, my age is an issue. Whether I’m struggling to “fit in” with my peers or trying to get my foot through the door in the corporate world, it feels like I’m trapped in this perpetual limbo. I am the youngest in my immediate friend group and my life is consequently the biggest mess. Add the fact that I’m going through this transition in a country I’ve never lived in before, that speaks a language I don’t understand, within a culture that baffles the rest of the world… then you have the makings of a full blown anxiety attack.

It’s hard to find someone to confide in and compare notes with because, on average, there’s an 3-4 year age gap. Sometimes, I don’t need someone to “fix my problems,” but instead, I want to share 6-10 cocktails with someone and just laugh about all the stupid shit that we’re dealing with.

When I voiced my frustration-in lewd and obscene language unfit for publication-to my best friend in LA who’s in her early 30’s, she told me: “It was never about the teaching. It was about the experience.”

She was right. I didn’t come to “start my career,” I came to wander, explore, and figure out what I actually want to do. I am 22 and it’s time that I embrace it and stop measuring my success against someone who is 30 and has their shit together.

After my “go-immediately-to-law-school” plan didn’t work out, I’ve been floating in this perpetually limbo of hell where I feel like I’m constantly not doing enough, but at the same time, I can’t possibly take on more. Many of my fellow Boston College grads have already got their foot through the door at various Fortune 500 hundred companies back in the States and I’m here in China hitting wall after wall. But that’s not MY plan for MY life.

While I waited patiently for my big move to China, I developed the best plan I could have possibly created with all the love and support of my mentors, friends, and family around the country.

Because I’ll never get to pick up and wander the corners of the world like this again. After the Boston Marathon Bombings, it became painstakingly obvious to me that I may or may not have my legs tomorrow. I may not have my arms. I may not have consciousness. I may not have my life.

So why should I spend these precious moments in a cold, depressing office crunching numbers?

So now I have to have faith in the plan. I came here to meet people, write, explore opportunities, and to wander; and NOT to start climbing the proverbial corporate ladder. There’s plenty of time to sell out in the future.

AS OF NOW, it looks like I’m staying in China another year to study English at an International Business school near my new apartment. It’s the only way I can stay AND not teach full time. China till 2015… at least. And if I so perish during my time here, know that I did everything I could have ever dreamed of. It was enough, I am enough, and I am at peace.

Please enjoy this demonstration of maturity. Maybe I’m not doing too bad for myself…