7 Ways To Avoid Being Robbed, Kidnapped, Or Murdered While Traveling Alone

There’s really not much I haven’t seen at this point.  I’ve been in riots, held up at gun point, pick-pocketed, put in handcuffs, jumped, chased by a helicopter, and escaped a potential kidnapping… in the last four years.

What can I say?  I know how to have a good time.

Here are some helpful tips about how I keep myself safe as a woman traveling alone!… or at least out of jail.  My record is spotless and I intend on keeping it that way.

1. Zip it before you hit it.

I’m all about zippers. Any sort of pocket or flap is a prime target for pickpockets so before you hit the town, invest in a BACKPACK (not a purse or fly-ass fanny pack) that has pockets on the inside of the bag.  This way, you zip up your personal items AND run after someone if they manage to snatch something.  If you couldn’t tell, I’m a huge fan of GORuck. Click on their banner to check them out!

2. Don’t bring along dead weight.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to carry a drunk girlfriend out of a club/bar because home girl can’t handle her alcohol or emotions properly.  This is twice as dangerous when you’re abroad and unfamiliar with your surroundings. Bite the bullet and be like, “Look bitch. I love you. You’re my bottom bitch. BUT you’re not invited.”  Make friends along the way instead because chances are they’re more interesting and more capable of taking care of their own business.

3. Stop Being “nice.”

Nice people are terrible travelers.  They feel uncomfortable demanding things and are always trying to be considerate of everyone’s feelings.  Stop it.  If you feel like you’re in danger in anyway, you need to do something about it.  Don’t try to be polite and hope that if you’re nice enough, a serial murderer won’t kill you.  Because he/she will; that’s just what they do. If you’re even in this situation, you NEED to scream, run, and grab the nearest bottle.  Shatter the base and threaten to end that person.  Who cares what that person thinks about you after the altercation, because at the end of the day, you made it home okay and that’s what’s important.

4. Make friends with strangers.

I love strangers. They have resources, know different languages, and have experience with anything and everything that could possibly happen.  They also follow the wanderers code, which states:

Our common mission makes us blood.  We shall not let anyone drown if we can help it. We are strangers and family at the same time.

…Unless he/she is a duche bag.  Then they can’t sit with us.

5. Figure out how to use your clothing/personal items as a weapon.

When you see me walking to the cabs with my heels in hand, it’s completely intentional.  1) I obviously was dancing like a possessed water nymph and I’m tired. 2) I can use it to stab someone in the eye. After training in Krav Maga, I don’t mess around when it comes to safety.  I know how to disarm someone with a knife and a gun, how to deflect punches and kicks, and how to use nearby items to defend myself. I’m ALWAYS thinking about my next move if shit were to hit the fan; it’s just how my mind works now.

6. Don’t go home with him/her.

 As everyone probably gathered from 23 Things, I don’t have any qualms with making out with strangers. But I draw a very clear line right there.  When I go out, alcohol is inevitability involved and my creep radar is undeniably impacted so I have very clear and strict rules for myself as a woman.  This may seem anti-feminist, but I disagree.  Yadadada explore your sexuality.  Yadadada equal rights. That’s all good and fun, but that’s not reality.  The reality is that women are regularly assaulted and raped with few consequences for their attackers; especially in developing countries.

This is an unfortunate truth. Now respond appropriately.

Keep it public.  I can deal with some teasing, embarrassing photos, and hangovers as a result of my “free spirited” attitude.  I couldn’t deal with looking into my friend’s eyes the next morning as she gave me a play-by-play of how she was raped after we were separated at a bar.

7. Take a Krav Maga class.

Nothing gets me more jazzed then simulating an attack on my life.  One of my trainers actually took me into the parking lot and choked me against a car to force me to “adapt.” Thanks for that.  The classes really build your confidence and ass-kicking knowledge; and they really put things into perspective.

Because here’s the real deal:

If you intend on causing me harm, I intend on causing you equal or greater harm.  If you attempt to take my life, I will take yours instead. There is no middle ground or room for negotiation. You made that clear when you put me in this position.  But at the same time, I will not cower in fear.  I will not hide in my home. I will not stop wandering the world and doing exactly what I love.

Please share this with your favorite traveling females ❤

XOXO V

Speak English. This Is China: My Reaction To Coca-Cola’s Super Bowl Commercial

Before I moved to China, I definitely wasn’t taking my Chinese classes seriously.  I was a second semester senior, crushing my “intensive” senior curriculum, and working out 3 hours every day since the only other option was sleeping.  Why the hell would I spend the best months of my life trapped in the library with all the freshmeat?  Everyone around me continued to assure me as well, saying,

“Everyone in China speaks English.  They have to.”

Because why wouldn’t they right? America is the greatest nation in the world! We have all the power and the guns.  America, fuck yeah.  Live free or die.  We are God’s greatest gift to the world and everyone justs needs to accept that already….

Or we’ll crush you with our guns, our power, and our English.

But as soon as I hit the ground, everything just became a blur.  Every Chinese character looked vaguely like the numerical pound sign (#) and people were rushing me out of the terminal like salmon fighting against the current.  I stood there helplessly with my 3 pieces of luggage, yoga mat, and rucksack holding onto my international phone with a death grip. It was my only connection to the English-speaking world outside of the terminal.

As a former English major, decorated debater, and self-proclaimed motivational speaker, the fact that I couldn’t communicate with anyone for months was devastating.  Obviously, I have really important opinions that need to be shared immediately, 24 hours a day and 7 days a week.  That’s why I got a Twitter account.

And it’s this type of helplessness that immigrants feel every single day in America; yet, we feel no sympathy and continue to criticize and demonize their culture.

When will people stop denying that we’re a nation of immigrants?  If you don’t believe me, GOOGLE it.  Or pick up a book if you’re old school like that. Because unless you’re of Native American decent, at one point in history YOUR family was fresh off a boat, scared, and scrambling to establish a life in a foreign country WHILE speaking your native tongue.  Mind blown, for sho’.

Speak English, this is America.  Why don’t you assimilate to OUR culture and OUR ways? Get a mortgage you can’t afford. Buy an Iphone 5 today and you should have started saving for the iPhone 6 yesterday. Learn a third language because once you’re stateside, you automatically forfeit any excuse not to be perfectly fluent in one of the hardest languages in the world!

Oh, and ditch the accent. That shit ain’t cute.

But that’s not how we do it in the People’s Republic.  In Beijing, the average ex-pat speaks 2-4 languages… in addition to Chinese. Ex-pats often own their own companies, are highly educated, and are acting as the change they hope to see in the world.  We recognize that business abroad is a lot like a family unit. To succeed in the wild wild east you need “guanxi,” or relationships, which will help your business move up in the world.  Without guanxi, you will fail.  Period.  So why not increase your opportunities to develop guanxi with multiple countries in their native tongue?

Point is: being unilingual cripples you abroad.  It traps you in a niche.

Guanxi has been king in China for thousands of years and it will continue to be king as far as we can tell down in the trenches.  However, when anything changes, we immediately adjust, adapt, and advance at the drop of a hat.  Some of us are Americans; others are European or African.  There are Latin Americans, Australians, Middle Easterners, and every other demographic you can think of.  But we are all part of the ex-pat family and WE would never dare say:

Speak English. This is China.

It’s time to abandon this useless and stubborn idea that America is this way, with this God, in this language.  Millennials are educated enough to see that globalization is inevitable and minorities will be the deciding force in elections in the near future.  So everyone just needs to get over it.  Let go of your fear of the other.  People need to get off their high horse and march with the beat that is inevitably in the horizon; a beat that blends all types of instruments together beyond any point of distinction.  It’s time for soloists to get over themselves.

This is why I stand with Coca-Cola.

Not the beverage (I prefer my whiskey neat), but their message.  Coca-Cola’s message was meant to be inclusive; that’s it.  Stop being obnoxious about it.

 Speak Whatever You Want.  This is America.

Dear Davis

These memories of you/ keep me company at night.

“Let’s go on an adventure” was your favorite thing to say to me.

I remember the first time you called me for an “adventure.”  20 minutes later, you were at my front door with 6 strangers in a beat-up SUV.  You introduced me to your friends as “Vah-knee-ss” and described me as: “pretty dope.”  Immediately, everyone nodded in agreement.  You said I was cool therefore I was cool.  There was no time for debate.  We were on a mission.

We jumped onto the 210 W freeway and made a beeline for the La Canada Hills.  Once we were at the rendezvous point, four other cars unloaded and teenagers from all over the San Gabriel Valley materialized with eager faces.  You announced that we were going to jump the gate labeled “Danger: Do Not Enter,” hike a quarter of a mile into the darkness, and set off fireworks in the closed sewer tunnels.  My skin was crawling with excitement, not from the anxiety of possibly being caught, but because you had introduced me to people-from all over-who knew nothing about me.  You gave me the opportunity to be whoever I wanted to be.

You told them I was strong, sharp, and adventurous; and as the leader of the pack, this immediately became the accepted opinion.  From that moment on, I absorbed this identity and have been developing it every since.

***

During my junior year at Boston College, I got a call from our mutual best friend Monique: “Davis is gone.”

I stared into my LSAT book and the words started melting into one another.  The sun shone brilliantly into the study room I had booked for 8 hours (on a Saturday) and all I could mumble was, “I need to study, let’s talk and process this together later.”  After studying furiously for another three hours, I finally packed-up my belongings to head home and then everything went dark.

I blacked back in at 9pm, in my studio, screaming as if someone was stabbing me.  I started shattering everything I could get my hands on; I wanted my surroundings to mirror how I felt inside.

How could you fucking do this to me?  I am only what you created me to be.  I am nothing more, but everything less.

After an hour-long meltdown, I finally got the nerve to call my best friend and she started the grieving protocol for me.  A parade of close friends, residents, therapists, employers, and priests rotated in and out of my room to “check up on me,” but the gesture was much like talking to a coma patient: thoughtful, yet ineffective.  My mind had given up and my body was barely kept conscious by my best friend gently stroking my head.

My heart is broken into two/ half of it with me/ half of it with you.

Two years later and thousands of miles away, I find myself enduring a similar sense of hopelessness during this year’s grieving process, but for different reasons.

As your birthday approaches, I can’t help but try to visualize who you would have been today.  I see you living in Georgia, ghost writing for Beyonce, and skyping me about how you’re getting too old for the music industry already.  You’re face is way too close to the computer camera, you’re wearing a shirt that says “To The Moon And Back Twice,” and you’re telling me that I’m too cool to do something I don’t really love.  As always, you believe in me more than I believe in me.

You’re the reason I started this whole adventure.  You’re the reason I’m not rotting in some library dreaming of Asia.  You were the ultimate wanderer.  You did whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted, wherever you wanted to do it.  We were always headed in the direction of nowhere in particular and if Sonny had gas in his SUV, we could bring along another 5 people. But if you fell… what chance do I have?

If I knew what to do/ it would already be done.

 Ever since that day, I’ve been trying to prove to myself that I am everything you thought I was. If you could send me some sort of sign that I’m doing something right, I’d be most obliged.  Was China the right move or am I meant to be in Iraq?  Tell me now because I’m committing the next two years to studying Chinese and Arabic seems like a far easier transition.  Just let me know where the next adventure is and I’ll be there-with people-I got mad peeps now.

You were a beacon of light for so many people who felt like they were drowning in their ocean of problems; including myself.  Whenever I’m down in China, with my back against the wall, I reflect on your music:

I’ll take you to the moon/ into the stars so you/ can see them for yourself… I’m here to show you how/ tonight this is the night/ we’ll fall into the sky.

I’ll carry your light now; so will all of your friends and family.  I’ll do the best I can.  I promise.  I started this adventure with nothing more than your advice in mind and  look how far I’ve made it!  3,000 miles away from home, I’m taking care of myself, making my own decisions, and seeing the world with what little time I have left.  And if I so perish on this adventure, make sure you have your DJ equipment in place for my arrival soirée… with an open bar obviously.  It’s tacky not to have an open bar at a celebration.

Going on an adventure in the Philippines for your birthday.  Wish you could make it.

 XOXO V

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Listen to the song “thescienceandfundamentalsoflove” featured in “Dear Davis.”  It was written, produced, and preformed by Davis and his band: To The Moon And Back Twice.

***

Photos were take by:

Ye Mao Zi Photography (夜猫子摄影)

Aaron Berkovich is one of my personal friends and long-time supporters. He believed in my dreams before it was cool.

He’s been shooting in Beijing for the later year and by photographing travel, parties, people, and food, his intimate images allow him to share his own journey with like-minded people. Like his page here.

Kiss Your Worries Away: How To Maintain Your Body AND Pay Down Your Loans

I love being crushed under crippling student loans.  Who ever thought of suffocating middle class students with debit before they could legally have a drink should probably get a medal.. because dreams are for trust-fund babies.

But being healthy and not bankrupt shouldn’t be mutually exclusive.  

I’m a broke, recent graduate, who’s living on her own in China and I’m in the best shape of my life.  If I can do it, then so can you.  Here’s how.

1. Stop Buying Alcohol At Bars/Clubs

Said no one ever. But seriously. Get drunk at home like every other respectable middle-aged man or women in the corporate rat-race.  Perpetual raging is bad for your health and wallet.  If you’re throwing down $10-$15 a drink, 4 drinks later, you just racked up a tab of 60 bucks! If you’re a recent grad, I’m guessing your body can still R&R (rage and recover) relatively well, so nothing is stopping you from doing this 3 to 4 times a week.  $240 later… you’ve also consumed roughly 2,448 calories of regular beer, or 1,552 calories of distilled spirits, or 2,000 calories of wine. That’s $960 and almost 10,000 EMPTY calories a month! I don’t know about you, but I’m more vain than I am thirsty.

2. Invest In Sleep

 You know what’s awesome? Free stuff. I’ve seen my peers tackle people to the floor for a free shirt, but for some reason, we don’t put the same type of dedication into our sleeping schedule.  The relationship between sleep loss and weight gain is a strong one.  Stop pretending like it’s not.  As an adamant believer in “Eff it-YOLO,” I need my body to be in tip-top-shape in order to run away from potential kidnappers in Thailand, wind surf in the Philippines, and crush CrossFit programs in China.  Also, if I come home earlier (like 2am) then I am less likely to blow my money on midnight junk food or get ripped off by cabs. It’s really that easy.

 3. Buy Green Things

 Let me break it down step-by-step for people who continue to be confused.  When you roll up into the super market, head straight for the vegetable section first.  I’m sure your recent diploma has sharpened your deductive reasoning skills enough to identify what is green and what is not.  Approach the “green thing,” pick it up, ascertain whether or not it satisfies the following criteria: is this green? If the answer is “yes,” put it in your basket. Walk directly to the checkout aisle. Pay. Leave.

Most millennials know that fruit is good for you, blah blah blah, but fruit also has a ton of sugar and can get expensive fast.  We know about tomatoes, eggplant, and potatoes, but dark green vegetables continue to be daunting to young adults because we don’t exactly know what do to with them.  Do we eat them raw? Can we microwave this? Will this taste good in a cocktail?  Youtube or Google how to cook green vegetables.  It’s really that easy.  Plus, you pay per pound and your dollar is able to stretch farther without your pants doing the same.

Author’s Tips: Donate all of the “crap” and processed foods in your pantry to a local shelter. This way, you can only drunk-eat raw vegetables at home when your self-control goes out the window at 4am. Also, get your sober self to hide the delivery menus before you hit the club. It’ll be a fun game for you to play when you come home.

4. Go Outside

A gym membership isn’t cheap and running on a machine is incredibly boring.  Try joining free/cheap co-ed league instead!  It gets you moving and helps you meet people in your immediate neighborhood.  Ignore everything you were taught as a child and don’t be afraid to build relationships with these strangers.  This way, if you’re ever lacking motivation, these new fit friends will be more inclined to blow up your phone until you drag your ass to volleyball practice after work.

It’s also a great way to hit on random dudes… “I TOO have a smart phone… we should probably exchange numbers.”

5. Eat Real Food

A pound of sugar is TECHINCALLY fat free.  It blows my mind that companies are allowed to label their processed garbage as “fat free” or “sugar free,” when in reality, they’re just substituting in foreign chemicals to satisfy the criteria necessary to be put on the shelves.  Buy real food.  This is a squash.  That is an avocado.  This is salmon.  That is beef.

What is Aspartame? What is saccharin? Or acesulfame potassium? All of these chemicals are unnatural sweeteners that offer zero nutritional value, but still remain on the FDA-approved list.  Screw you FDA.  I hope you get fat.

6.  Switch to Income-Based Repayment (IBR)

 IBR payments are based off of your current income and family size, and thus, IBR can decrease your monthly payment significantly.  While it extends the repayment period, if you continue to carry some debt after 25 years (and meet certain requirements), chances are some of your remaining balance might be canceled!  It’s a gamble, but it’s a resource nonetheless.  Read more about it here.  This is my plan: after I crush Chinese in next two years (fingers crossed), I plan to go to business school and study international trade so I can continue my nomadic ways, but in a far more comfortable way.  This is when I plan to really focus on my loans.  But for now, I would rather take the interest hit and do what I love, than continue to live as a prisoner.  The world is about more than just the hustle.

7. Drink More Water

Shut up and just do it.

XOXO V

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Ye Mao Zi Photography (夜猫子摄影)

Aaron Berkovich is one of my personal friends and long-time supporters. He believed in my dreams before it was cool.

He’s been shooting in Beijing for the later year and by photographing travel, parties, people, and food, his intimate images allow him to share his own journey with like-minded people. Like his page here.