My China Mantra: You Are Enough

My life feels like a whirlpool at the moment. At all times of the day, I am furiously scribbling notes into my shitty Chinese phone to remember once I get a chance to sit for 10 minutes…

Things to do:
• Email Mom a list of things I want her to bring from home.
• Buy eggs
• Buy a jacket, winter clothes
• Pay rent (…for the next 4 months???…IN CASH??) Kill me.

My desire to make rent for my new apartment absolutely crushed my desire to be warm or eat properly. Priorities are king.

Those notes were from a week ago.

I currently have 3 jobs… 4 if you count networking/socializing to find a better job so I don’t have to work 3 jobs. Lets count.

1. Daytime Kindergarten Teacher
2. Business English Tutor For An Engineering Company
3. Free Lance Marketing/Blogging

Right now, my quality of life isn’t too bad. I still find time to socialize and I MAKE time to lift shit up and put it down. I still fit in my daily dose of day-dreaming (2-4 hours) and sometimes I get to eat more than street food! LOOK MOM! I’M MAKING IT.

Today I saw something on the Facebook that really struck a cord with me:

I control my happiness. My thoughts are what I am. Attitude is more important than circumstances. Never be afraid. All I need is faith in myself. I belong to something greater than myself. We are all connected. Connections are the most important parts of life. Everything will be okay. Love exists. That’s pretty much who I am.

– Unknown.

SHOCKER! It was one of my Crossfit buddies that posted it in his status… he’s about to have his first kid.

Author’s Note: Good luck bro.

For me, it’s rare that I find really calming things on the Internet. I’m on the Facebook, I read the Buzzfeed, and I watch Colbert Report regularly, even though I’m 3,000 miles away AND BECAUSE OF THIS, the future seems more and more bleak. Technology has killed the romantic in me because human stupidity goes vial instantly.

… But this motivational quote is different… Lets read it again.

I control my happiness. My thoughts are what I am. Attitude is more important than circumstances. Never be afraid. All I need is faith in myself. I belong to something greater than myself. We are all connected. Connections are the most important parts of life. Everything will be okay. Love exists. That’s pretty much who I am.

– Unknown.

It’s just so perfectly simple. It doesn’t make a grand lavish declaration that he or she will eventually end world hunger or stop global racism, but rather, it takes ownership. Ownership of one’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions WHILE recognizing that we are only capable of so much! My happiness should be able to filter through the hell-that-is-post-graduation if it’s really authentic. And to be honest, I think it is.

If I could give any piece of advice to wanna-be-wanderers, it would be this:

…You are enough…

Once you are able to accept that you are no more and no less than what you were intended to be, everything else will fall into place in whatever country you choose to live in. Despite the language barrier, kindness and humility will always be able to shine through your eyes.

Let me be clear. While I understand that depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain, being a shitty human being is a choice. I’ve watched friends and family go through hell and back, and still, they’ve been able to maintain their relationships and general decency.

 

Attitude is more important than circumstances.

 

I’ve been repeating that in my head for the last hour.

So I’m poor right NOW. So is every other 22 year old without a trust fund. What a novel concept!! I should write for GIRLS. Being poor is not forever… but having the opportunity to wander the world is definitely on a time limit.

With that being said, someone please send me a North Face jacket.

…Let’s take a closer reading…

Never be afraid.

Done and done. I am too stubborn to admit I’m afraid of anything 90% of the time; therefore, I am not afraid of anything. That’s some LSAT logic you can take to the bank.

All I need is faith in myself.

Because at the end of the day, the only person I have to go to sleep with is myself. Be proud of what you accomplished and have faith that you will accomplish more in the future.

Everything will be okay.

All pain is temporary. All suffering comes to an end. This is my mantra of choice when I’m crushing a hero WOD at my CrossFit Box.

Love exists.

Take it how you will.

That’s pretty much who I am.

 

20 Ways to Make It In A Country You’ve Never Lived In Before

I am a firm believer that no one should have to reinvent the wheel. So here are my top 20 life hacks for wandering the world and how you can get the most out of your international experience. Cheers.

1. Get over yourself

2. Learn ___(Insert National Language Here)____. This is ____(Insert New Country Here)___. Not America.

3. Network. Network. Network. And then… Network some more.

4. Learn how to describe where you live properly so you can negotiate with cabs at 4pm or 4am.

5. Accept that your stomach will hate you for weeks. It’s a great way to jump start that 6-pack you’ve been meaning to get.

6. Practice charades. If you can’t explain it with your words, try with your hands.

7. Say yes to everything… unless it’s a black cab.

8. Make friends with the locals and, if given the chance, accept the opportunity to be a guest in their household.

9. Stop wearing make-up… at least everyday.

10. Backpack. Stay in hostels. Take advantage of the cheap cost of living! Unless you’re in the UK or Europe… which is basically a more expensive version of America with a different national language. Take a boat and try Africa instead.

11. Be loyal to the new friends you make. The ex-pat community is small and lonely, at times.

12. Don’t be a dick.

13. Eat frequently.

14. Practice dating. You will never have to see an international ex again unless you want too. Go crazy with your “needs,” talking about your feelings, etc etc.

15. Explore other religions and practices. Maybe you’ll find something that’s more adjacent to how YOU want to live your life… and not how your grandmother thinks you should live your life.

16. Stay away from hard drugs. If anything happens, you might not know the correct emergency number to contact or where to go.

17. Fall off the grid. Take some time to discover the beauty of privacy (unless you’re a blogger lol). Some how, the Facebook/twitter community will make it without you.

18. Screw Parental Guidance. You’ll never be this young and physically capable of running away from kidnappers ever again. So go on. Jump on the back of that motorcycle. Go to the club with those random strangers you just met. Fall in love with a stranger. Wander around without a map. Jump international borders without calling mommy and daddy first for permission.

19. Let go of your attachment to material things. Travel with a carry-on, max. If you really REALLY need something, you can just buy it when you get there.

20. Work on your face. Kindness and humility are expressed through the eyes. If you can communicate that you’re a good person without words, everyone… regardless of the language or cultural barrier… will fall in love with you.

The Rite Of Passage Into Adulthood: A Sob Story

On Wednesday, I played hookie from work. I tried to call in sick Tuesday night, but the cultural barrier proved difficult to overcome once again.

“You mean you need to take a rest?”

Sure. Let’s go with that. I need to take a rest.

But maybe my supervisor was right? Maybe, I did need to “take a rest.” Not a nap or a vacation: just a rest.

A rest from the constant city hustle. A rest from the glaring Chinese language barrier. A rest from being 3,000 miles away from home and 5,000 miles from most of my friends. A rest from rent, bank statements, insurance companies, cell phone bills, and multiple jobs. A rest from being thrown into the adult world without my mommy, kittie, or CrossFit box.

The transition from college into the real world is difficult for everyone. The class of 2013 no longer has an excuse to cuddle up to Mom and Dad for our every need. To some extent, our college degree is a double edge sword. While our new degree does open doors… we now have no excuse to NOT be self-sufficient, but we lack the skills to do so. So even if we do land an entry level job (or better) straight out-the-gate, what do we have to come home to? An empty apartment, an empty fridge, and an emptiness inside our gut. Because only a few months ago, we had everything we could have ever wanted… opportunities, friends within a walk-able distance, a guaranteed source of food/shelter/water, and (most importantly) a safety net.

Our college degree is seen as a social validation that we’re ready to be shoved out of the nest and into the big bad world. Fight or flight. But I never got the manual for either. Did you?

Ready… set… WHY DIDN’T YOU ALREADY GO?!… And now you’re behind. Everyone. In the entire damn world. Or at least that’s how it seems.

Now imagine making that transition in a foreign country… where you don’t know anyone and you don’t speak the native language. Now times that level of difficulty by 12.

This is my life.

I am 22, alone, confused, and lost 90% of the time that I am awake.

Yesterday, I opened a Chinese bank account. I handed my passport to my Chinese Assistant (who is a saint) and he filled out all of my information and negotiated what type of an account I wanted to open. Then, I was handed a new debit card and shown the door. It was an incredibly traumatic experience for me.

It felt like someone had cut my umbilical cord for the second time. Right Of Passage, my ass. Where was my Dad to talk me through my credit score and APR rates? Where was my Mom to show me how to budget my money correctly so I can eat well AND splurge on products to have great skin?!

Right now, my skin looks like shit. I can literally see the damage the Beijing water, air, and stress is doing to my appearance and I just want to curl up into a ball and hide. I don’t care if I’m throwing a tantrum. That’s how I feel, I will not apologize, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Whether you can see it in your skin, weight, or interpersonal relationships, you can’t ignore that internal stress impacts your outward functionality. It’s called Biology. Read about it.

[Author’s Note: You don’t need to be in school to read a book: cover to cover.]

So I did what any sane Mexican woman living in China would do. I bought me some tacos from a local Mexican restaurant and got a facial/massage (2 hours). Grand total: 180 Yuan. That’s roughly $30 bucks. Baller on a budget.

It doesn’t make a difference if you’re 22 or 42, moving to a new country is hard. Not impossible, but still hard. I also made it a point to not sleep the day away. There’s no sense in messing up my sleeping routine if I can’t sustain a “10 hours of sleep every day” bad habit. Instead, I gave my body, mind, and soul the 24 hour “rest” it needed because I’m a human being-not a machine. As a result, I can feel my mood (and skin) glowing more and more radiant as I continue to stumble through life, business, and China.

While I don’t have a “remedy” to our (i.e. recent grads) growing pains, I will say that these small three things dramatically improved my experience in China and on my own:

1) Only buy food that perishes in 2 weeks or less
– This will create a routine for you and FORCE you to stop going out and blowing your money on fancy dinners/booze you can’t afford. It will force you to learn how to cook. It will force you to maintain your figure. This is my golden rule for success…. unless Steve’s Paleo Goods starts shipping to China.

2) Stop getting drunk in public places.
– Get drunk at home and then WANDER INTO said public places. Or just go to bed… this tactic is an incredibly useful way to save face/drunk texts.

3) Clean your living space.
– Even if you just have a single room to your name (like me!), keep it clean and orderly so you don’t buy things you already have/don’t need. And even if everything went wrong during the day, at night you are protected in your own palace of solitude. Where nothing is “wrong,” it’s just meant to be that way.

The proof is in the pudding… of the Chinese facial mask that I have on right now. I also, found a FABULOUS dermatologist at an international hospital that’s going to hook it up courtesy of my equally as fabulous international insurance plan. If you need a rec, just inbox me.

Wander onwards my friends.